The world is changing faster and faster– or so it seems. Or is it that the outer world keeps screaming for our attention, leaving our inner selves feeling neglected. This has been a struggle for me since I was a child in Shenzhen, CHN.
Coming to the States threw me into a state of mental dissociation – the Eastern cultural collectivism at home versus Western independence and its social pressures. It was a period of disorientation, with my inner world at odds with the outside one.
Looking back, I realize I needed to turn inward to find my truth. Yet, for most of my life, I was consumed by the external world. So I've worn many hats (interior designer, identity, ux designer. architect) but I could never shake the feeling of imposter syndrome when I called myself an "artist".
Late 2020, I had an identity crisis that halted my career forward. Went on a UX learning spree and new software skills, freelanced in research/ spaces/ identity. I kept working but I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to learn more and for some reason, but kept going back to re-designing my identity, just about 15 different times.
Artist Statement
They say when you embrace the inner world, you start hearing voices.
(but relax.. you're not going crazy!)
(but relax.. you're not going crazy!)
What if that is actually normal. What if this internal conflict is in everyone– the duality between self and society, the left-half and right-half of your brain. I believe to accept this makes us whole.
During this time, two perspectives emerged from the constant voices in my head. as if they were "Art Directors", each with entirely different vision and values:
1. my inner child,
2. my stoic inner philosopher.
1. my inner child,
2. my stoic inner philosopher.
As directed by my inner child, my AI-artwork revolves around the unconventional and delightful. And while I love how AI can generate photorealistic imagery, I'm currently obsessed with exploring abstract minimalism and inky illustrations. These bold watercolors embrace a messy-yet-peaceful aesthetic, reflecting the beauty of wabi-sabi ☺︎
As directed by my inner philosopher, I created and contemplated on themes of duality, symmetry, paradoxical-thinking, and possibility. I found this journey of self-discovery, while not entirely solitary, has been deeply personal one. It was about reflecting on my past, connecting the "why" to the "what" of my art, nurturing my voice and critical thinking, and ultimately building trust – within myself and with the world around me.
This time has given me unique insights into cultivating mental fortitude & the pursuit of meaning. I had to be honest with myself, design was a external endeavor but what I've been avoiding had to be found within. This was the Artist v. Designer dilemma, Read the reflection here.
